Game Over: Handling Screen Time Meltdowns

The nightly battle over screen time is a familiar one for many parents. When you tell your kids to stop playing video games, the resulting tantrums and meltdowns can be baffling. But according to neurologists, this doesn't mean your child is addicted; it's simply difficult for them to disengage from a highly rewarding activity. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls impulses and decision-making, isn't fully developed until around age 25, making it harder for children to override the pleasure and move on.

Here's why video games are so difficult to put down and what you can do about it:

Dopamine Release: Playing video games boosts dopamine levels in the brain, creating a sense of reward and anticipation. Unlike a finite activity like eating a donut, video games are designed with a continuous stream of intermittent rewards to keep players engaged, with some games having no real end. Pulling a child away from a game before they've completed a level is like taking a half-eaten donut out of their hand (sounds painful, right?).

Establish and Enforce Rules: Consistently set and adhere to rules around game time. Experts suggest giving a 20-minute warning before it's time to stop playing to help kids mentally prepare for the transition. If there are multiple adults in the household, make sure everyone understands and enforces the same rules! Consistency is key to building good habits.

Involve Your Child: Give your child a role in creating and enforcing the rules. Children are more likely to follow guidelines they helped develop in advance. Set rules for yourself too, and ask your children to help you stay accountable so they can see you following limits as well!

Ensure Your Child Is Engaged In Healthy Activities: The reality is that it’s often easier to have our kids quietly playing on their phone or other device - it’s often the path of least resistance, esp with so many working parents. It’s a lot of work for adults to get kids engaged in healthy alternative activities - like reading, board games, sports, outdoor play, chores, etc. Consider enrichment classes and summer programs to get them out of the house and working on important academic skills!

Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you are concerned about your child's gaming, consider whether they may be using games to cope with depression or anxiety. While less than 1% of gamers may qualify for a gaming disorder diagnosis, you should seek help from professionals who specialize in children and teens, not just "gaming addiction" clinics.

Unchecked, bad gaming habits impact kids’ learning. Students start looking for that dopamine hit at school (yes, many gaming apps ARE still accessible on school Chromebooks, despite what parents think!) and especially during class. As we often tell Elk Grove parents who seek help from us, it’s easiest to set and enforce rules and good habits when children are younger. The longer we wait, the harder it gets!